The inquiry centers on a deeply relatable scenario: when a person is considering whether a friend is truly good for them, it is almost inevitable that they will reflect upon that individual’s negative qualities alongside their positive attributes. The fundamental question raised is whether such critical deliberation and internal assessment are permissible. According to Shaykh Reasat, the answer is a clear affirmation. Deliberating over the pros and cons of a friendship, and weighing the good and bad qualities of an individual, is entirely acceptable and a normal part of personal discernment.
However, moving beyond the mere permissibility of evaluating relationships, the scholar offered broader counsel regarding the intentionality of one’s social circle. He advised individuals to actively choose company that fosters and benefits their relationship with the Divine. When circumstances dictate that a relationship has run its course or proves detrimental, the separation should be handled with grace and kindness. Shaykh Reasat noted that such transitions do not always require an explicit, confrontational conversation; frequently, a gradual minimization of contact can naturally allow a person to step back until they are no longer actively present in one’s daily life.
A central component of the guidance provided involves a transformative approach to handling interpersonal grievances and perceived flaws in others. Rather than harboring resentment or focusing solely on negative traits, the scholar emphasized the profound significance of praying for one’s peers. He instructed that for every negative quality observed in another person, an individual should actively ask the Divine to replace that specific flaw with a quality that is beloved to Him.
This practice is rooted in traditional Islamic jurisprudence and spirituality, drawing upon a well-known concept regarding unseen supplications. Shaykh Reasat highlighted that when a person prays for good things for their brother or sister in their absence, that sincere request triggers a matching response from the angelic realm. Citing a narration from the collection of Imam Muslim, he explained that an angel appointed for this purpose will say "Amin" to the prayer and supplicate on behalf of the person making the request, asking that they be granted the exact same blessing or virtue they have wished for another.
This spiritual dimension reframes the evaluation of friendships not merely as an exercise in social filtering, but as an opportunity for mutual elevation and character refinement. By pairing the practical discernment of evaluating relationships with the spiritual practice of benevolent supplication, individuals can navigate social changes with both mindfulness and compassion.
The guidance was delivered by Shaykh Abdul Rahim Reasat, a prominent scholar with an extensive background in traditional Islamic sciences. Shaykh Reasat initially embarked on his academic journey by studying Arabic Grammar and Morphology while simultaneously pursuing a degree in English and History. Following the completion of his undergraduate studies, he traveled extensively to deepen his knowledge, basing himself first in Damascus, Syria.
During his time in Damascus, he dedicated himself to the intensive study of Arabic language, Hanafi Fiqh, Usul al-Fiqh, Islamic Theology, and Logic. His foundational education in these subjects was shaped under the tutelage of respected scholars, including Shaykh Adnan Darwish, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Rahman Arjan al-Binsawi, Shaykh Husayn Darwish, Shaykh Muhammad Darwish, and the late Shaykh Rashad Shams, among others.
Seeking to expand his mastery of the traditional curriculum, Shaykh Reasat subsequently relocated to Amman, Jordan. In Amman, he continued his academic pursuits, branching into advanced disciplines such as Tafsir, Quranic Sciences, Hadith Methodology and Commentary, Prophetic Biography, Prophetic Perfections and Traits, Rhetoric, Arabic Literature, and Tajwid. His comprehensive education in Jordan was guided by numerous esteemed teachers, including Shaykh Ali Hani, Dr. Hamza al-Bakri, Dr. Salah Abu al-Hajj, Dr. Mansur Abu Zina, Shaykh Ahmad Hasanat, and Shaykh Ahmad Jammal, among others. Through his scholarly background and ongoing advisory role, Shaykh Reasat continues to provide insights on contemporary ethical and spiritual questions faced by individuals navigating daily life and interpersonal dynamics.