In a recent consultation addressing deep personal turmoil within a marriage, prominent Islamic scholar Shaykh Faraz Rabbani has provided detailed religious guidance to a husband whose wife committed adultery and indicated an intention to repeat the action. The inquiring husband, who follows the Hanafi school of Islamic jurisprudence, explained that he has chosen to withhold intimacy and provide only basic living necessities, raising the question of whether he is obligated to divorce his wife for the sake of their young child or if he is permitted to maintain the marriage.
Expressing profound empathy for the gravity of the situation, Shaykh Rabbani commended the husband for seeking religious guidance and prioritizing the welfare of his child during such a difficult trial. The response delves into classical Hanafi legal rulings, prophetic traditions, and the moral responsibilities of a Muslim husband facing severe marital betrayal.
Divorce Isn’t an Obligation but a Considered Choice Here
Addressing the core legal question, Shaykh Rabbani clarified that divorcing an unchaste spouse is not strictly obligatory under Islamic law, though it remains a viable and considered choice depending on the circumstances. He noted that if a couple genuinely fears they cannot maintain the moral boundaries and limits set by God, separating carries no religious blame.
To substantiate this legal position, the scholar referenced the notable Cairene Hanafi jurist, Najm al-Din Ibn Nujaym, who recorded in his seminal work, al-Bahr al-Ra’iq, that "it is not obligatory on the husband to divorce an unchaste wife," unless "they fear they will not keep within the limits of Allah, in which case there is no harm in their separating."
Shaykh Rabbani emphasized that whether to continue the marriage or dissolve it rests entirely upon the husband’s personal judgment. He advised the individual to carefully weigh the situation, consult trusted and wise counselors, turn to God through the traditional prayer of seeking guidance (salat al-istikhara), and only then arrive at a final decision.
The Prophet Met a Man in Your Place with Mercy
Providing historical and spiritual context, Shaykh Rabbani highlighted a narration from the tradition of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, which mirrors similar marital distress. In the accounts recorded in Abu Dawud, a man approached the Prophet and stated that his wife did not refuse any seeking hand. The Prophet initially advised him to send her away. However, when the man expressed deep anguish, saying, "I fear my heart will follow her," the Prophet responded, "Then stay with her and enjoy her company."
Elaborating on this precedent, the renowned scholar Mawlana Khalil Ahmad Saharanpuri explained in his commentary, Badhl al-Majhud, that the Prophet recognized the husband’s profound emotional attachment. If divorce had been made strictly binding upon him, his heart would have continued to long for her, potentially leading him into unlawful actions. Consequently, the Prophet permitted him to retain the marriage under those exceptional circumstances.
You May Not Accept or Overlook It
While Islamic law offers flexibility regarding the continuation of the marriage, Shaykh Rabbani firmly stressed that a husband is strictly prohibited from consenting to ongoing infidelity or passively looking away from it.
The scholar cited prophetic warnings regarding the concept of protective jealousy, noting that the Prophet Muhammad named the man devoid of protective jealousy—referred to in classical texts as a dayyuth—among three individuals whom God will not look at on the Day of Judgment, as recorded by Nasa’i. The prominent Hanafi jurist Ibn Abidin defines this term in Radd al-Muhtar as someone who feels no protective jealousy over his wife or close female relatives.
Furthermore, Shaykh Rabbani pointed to Quranic injunctions directing believers to shield themselves and their families from wrongdoing. He noted that a husband’s duty in such scenarios is to command the good and forbid the wrong with clarity, while maintaining mercy and restraint. This requires the husband to explicitly inform his spouse that such behavior is forbidden and entirely unacceptable, alongside taking reasonable practical steps to safeguard the home environment.
What About Staying for the Children?
Addressing the husband’s desire to preserve the family structure for the sake of their young child, Shaykh Rabbani acknowledged that staying for the children is an honorable aspiration. However, he cautioned that maintaining a marriage devoid of intimacy while a partner openly persists in transgression raises profound questions regarding mutual rights, emotional sustainability, and what an individual can reasonably endure over the span of many years.
Reiterating the complexity of the situation, the scholar urged the husband not to navigate the crisis in isolation. He recommended sitting down with a knowledgeable local scholar to discuss the full context of the matter confidentially, coupled with the continued performance of the prayer for divine guidance.
Concluding the counsel, Shaykh Rabbani offered a prayer for healing and protection, pointing to the Quranic supplication found in Surah al-Furqan: "Our Lord, give us from our wives and successive generations of offspring a pure joy to set eyes upon for their righteousness."
Background on Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
Shaykh Faraz Rabbani is a widely recognized specialist scholar in the Islamic sciences, having spent a decade studying under prominent authorities across Damascus and Amman, Jordan. His foundational studies in Damascus included learning from the late Shaykh Adib al-Kallas, a renowned theologian of his era, and Shaykh Hassan al-Hindi, a leading Hanafi jurist.
In 2007, Shaykh Rabbani returned to Canada and founded SeekersGuidance, an organization dedicated to providing reliable, accessible, and relevant Islamic education through both online platforms and community programs. He is also the author of Absolute Essentials of Islam: Faith, Prayer, and the Path of Salvation According to the Hanafi School, published by White Thread Press in 2004. Since 2011, he has consistently been recognized among the 500 most influential Muslims globally by the Royal Islamic Strategic Studies Center, reflecting his enduring impact on contemporary Islamic discourse.